The Turntables May Wobble...

Stumbling is characteristic of most first steps. Even the first men on Studio Moon stumbled on the early takes before perfecting it for the live satellite telecast. But like Rocky says, it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you get hit and keep moving forward. To Sly, the first steps always involved mumbling, but he got back up, dusted off his syllables and continued to make sequels against all odds.

They say that if you sit on the fence for too long you’ve gotta expect the odd picket up your arse. Who knows who ‘they’ are that say such things. I picture a room full of middle aged men just saying things all day and night. It’s a bit like the age old question, ‘where is the internet?’ I knew a man who answered that once, telling me it was a building with countless black boxes in it.

If this blog entry was ever moving forward, I digress. But it’s not about how many points you make, it’s about how much you can digress and keep people reading.

Over the past few weeks I have set up camp on the fence. I have been pondering 2 options: Stay Here vs Go to Sydney to continue my studies. It was getting to the point where I thought I might need to dial the emergency number and get the Ambivalence Ambulance to come to my apartment.

In my hour of need I was reminded of an article I once read from Nathan Buckley – Australian Football Collingwood Legend. He talked about a hard decision he’d made (perhaps to leave the Bears) and how he had talked it through with his Dad. Now why didn’t I ever do that?

So I called my father. And it was beautiful.

Harry managed to look at where I was at, and give it back to me with at-times-brutal and at-times-touching honesty. And when I got off the phone it was clear to me that just because things have been a little rough, there’s no need to pull the rip cord. Everything is where it needs to be.

To those out there who have trouble navigating the waters on the father-son relationShip, I would suggest giving the guy the chance to be your dad from time to time. He probably knows you better than you can imagine.

Monkey Quote: Episode 9

"The strange fact is that the world goes on against all reasonable odds. A hundred years, and even unimaginable evil is just called history."

Japanese vs Taiwanese Noodles

On my first weekend here in Fong Yuan, which was only 2 weekends ago, none other than the great man himself - Richard 'Noodles' Hall - graced these streets with his presence on a visa run from Japan. I greeted him at the train station with 2 chocmilks and 2 seaweed rice triangles in my hands and we headed directly for the night markets.

Although we didn't pass go, we collected $200(New Taiwanese Dollars that is - think $6) worth of whatever the street vendors would dish us up and rounded the night out by shooting some baskets in the arcade.

The next day, a Sunday, was the best of my time here in Taiwan so far. It was performed in chapters... To the best of my memory this was the order of events...

Chapter One - Fairy Toast
When I awoke Big Daddy Noodles had already been up and raring to go for about 3 hours. We wandered down to the breakfast place in my apartment block and Noods was introduced to the lovely Amy, the breakfast lady, by my future CIA housemate, Hans. We ate something that could best be described as 'fairy toast' and headed for the hills.

Chapter Two - Ol' Browner II
On the way we happened upon a bowling alley and decided to roll a few frames. It was just like the old days at Rosemount when you could enjoy $1.50 games. I even found a bowling ball that resembled Ol' Browner - my faithful bowling ball that was damaged beyond repair by the great Sec Fire of 2001.

Chapter Three - Some Beef with Noodles
By taking 3 wrong turns, Noods and I found our way to a little family-run lunch place that served ridiculously good beef noodles and laughed raucously as we put horns on our heads and gave the 'moooooo' in lieu of knowing some kind of 'chinese words'. Delicious!

Chapter Four - Much Needed Perspective
We headed up past a winding street market, through a park and up into the hills. From the top, with sweat on our brows, we could see the whole little town that I now call home. It was some much needed perspective, offered in the most literal way.

Chapter Five - Pants
We made our way down the hill the long way and used a shapeshifting building as our guide to get back home in the fading light. On the outskirts of town we stumbled upon a shop where some all-class shopping was performed. I became the proud owner of some new pants that rival the 'classic series' that Jussy found for me in Paris.

Chapter Six - Terror on Chow Street
We ate all that we could and wasted terrifying amounts of food.

Chapter Seven - Golden Microphones
After looping the town and arriving back where we started, the guys that sold us pants took pity on us and decided to take us on their scooters to Karaoke. Here, Noodles and I went song for song for 3 hours in a room with a plasma screen, a projector and countless couches all to ourselves. Avril Levine and Elvis Prestley found their way onto our playlists as instant money. Not to mention (which is such a crazy expression as obviously it's about to be mentioned) there was all you can eat hotdog pastry things. It's an odd concept - use your imagination, or if that's a little lacking, get some weiners and donuts and combine...

And that's the end of our story about one of the world's greatest days.

Noodles' stay was only really 3 days. It was sad to see the big man go, but it makes me wonder where on earth the next great adventure of us will be.

Choice

Ever since seeing Kung Fu Panda I’ve pondered the concept of destiny finding you on the path you take to avoid it… How so much of my time and resources are spent on decisions – worrying if I am making the right ones – regretting decisions I’ve made and the doors that have been closed on me – watching life move on and mistakes become cemented.

But is any of it real?

After I finished my 10-day intensive training course in Taipei I came down to a little town called Fong Yuan to live. It’s about 15 minutes from the 3rd largest city in Taiwan – Taichung. It’s surrounded by mountains and there are several walks you can take just out of the city that make you feel like you’re way out in the countryside. The city itself has everything you could want – including 10-pin bowling, an abundance of karaoke, a 35 meter pool with sauna, steam room and spa, badminton courts… you know, the essentials.

Last Sunday I took a drive through the mountains for a few hours and found myself in an incredible hot springs where I soaked myself for an afternoon/evening and blissed out.

And yet, I’ve been in a tailspin of almost-made-decisions. I’ve been looking for something else, anything to get me free of this place. Something easier, safer and more familiar. A job that I am good at, not one that I have to learn. I have talked to so many friends and family members and every time I hang up the phone I have made a new decision. Then slowly that decision begins to erode and I am back to the land of indecisive clouds.

A few days ago I got an email from my ex-wife – a picture of her new-born baby girl… decisions.

The big impersonal force out there that some call god doesn’t seem to care about why we make the decisions we make. It just receives the orders and carries them out – regardless of reason.

And perhaps, the best way to live is to let destiny be, and get on with the journey - one pretend decision at a time.

Monkey Quote: Episode 3

"You may run from tigers, but where can you hide from your own fear? Desire is unquenchable - you can only free yourself from it."

Sans Kansas

In the past week I’ve done the entire train circuit of Taiwan - heading to Hualien, down to Kaohsiung and Tainan and now back in Taipei where my Teacher Training begins tomorrow. It’s been a search for a place that I can call home for the next year.

The journey so far has certainly had its moments. In my search for something that felt a little bit normal I reached out for McDonalds and KFC – anything to comfort me from the feeling of ‘We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.’

My time in Bali was like living in an Ashram in many ways – all the physical world elements taken care of. Someone to clean up after you, wonderful food everywhere that would be delivered to your house for very little money. With the outer world taken care of so sweetly it left plenty of time for inner exploration.

Dealing with the shock from being pulled out of that world has been a struggle. Turning to KFC was a mistake. I think I found the Colonel’s secret ingredient – laxatives. The Colonel’s colon cleanse put me in the position every traveller knows – the mad dash for the nearest toilet.

Still, after this I knew beyond any chance of mistaking it that I was travelling again… Funny how the old dire rear marks the start of a new journey for me.

That day, feeling worse for wear, I went out in Kaohsing to check out a movie. If the Colonel wasn’t going to help me I knew Hollywood would. At the cinema I had a couple of hours to kill before anything was showing and ran into a couple of American baseball players. These two were like giants, especially against the backdrop of the Taiwanese.

Jay, a big black bald man from Mississipi and Nate, a big white diesel engine from Utah. The 3 of us shared pizzas, pasta and red wine and some laughs before heading into check out… ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’… Hmmm... Another look at glorified relational neuroses. And a chick flick for sure. But just what I needed to switch off my busy, tired mind.

Tainan has been one of the highlights so far. The old capital of Taiwan before Taipei took over at the turn of the century. Confucius Hotel was my sanctuary as I learned from the mistake of a sleepless night in a 6 bed dorm room. Before you pass Go, sometimes you’ve gotta stay at Park Avenue.

Monkey Quote: Episode 9

"Your work is to discover your work. Then, with all your heart, to give yourself to it. No one purifies another"

(This is the section of the blog where I will be taking quotations from the 80s TV show, Monkey)