Choice

Ever since seeing Kung Fu Panda I’ve pondered the concept of destiny finding you on the path you take to avoid it… How so much of my time and resources are spent on decisions – worrying if I am making the right ones – regretting decisions I’ve made and the doors that have been closed on me – watching life move on and mistakes become cemented.

But is any of it real?

After I finished my 10-day intensive training course in Taipei I came down to a little town called Fong Yuan to live. It’s about 15 minutes from the 3rd largest city in Taiwan – Taichung. It’s surrounded by mountains and there are several walks you can take just out of the city that make you feel like you’re way out in the countryside. The city itself has everything you could want – including 10-pin bowling, an abundance of karaoke, a 35 meter pool with sauna, steam room and spa, badminton courts… you know, the essentials.

Last Sunday I took a drive through the mountains for a few hours and found myself in an incredible hot springs where I soaked myself for an afternoon/evening and blissed out.

And yet, I’ve been in a tailspin of almost-made-decisions. I’ve been looking for something else, anything to get me free of this place. Something easier, safer and more familiar. A job that I am good at, not one that I have to learn. I have talked to so many friends and family members and every time I hang up the phone I have made a new decision. Then slowly that decision begins to erode and I am back to the land of indecisive clouds.

A few days ago I got an email from my ex-wife – a picture of her new-born baby girl… decisions.

The big impersonal force out there that some call god doesn’t seem to care about why we make the decisions we make. It just receives the orders and carries them out – regardless of reason.

And perhaps, the best way to live is to let destiny be, and get on with the journey - one pretend decision at a time.