The House

At the end of May 2009 I moved into this wooden cottage that has brought me so much joy. It took a lot of searching and some help from some friends, but we made it happen. It's in a gated community about 10 minutes away from the middle of Fong Yuan.

Fong Yuan is a small town, but to my spacious Australian frame of reference it's a busy concrete jungle. One of the fascinating things about Taiwan is the dichotomies here. One minute you're in a smelly, loud, industrial city and the next you're in lush green mountains.

This video was taken almost a year ago. Unfortunately it's almost time to wake up from my dream house as it's been sold and we're about to get the boot...

The First Few Months

It took a lot of adjusting to make things work here in Taiwan. Perhaps the greatest adjustment was of my expectations. I guess I thought I'd be practicing Kung Fu with Bruce Lee's teachers in the morning, followed by a chi enriching breakfast with a descendant of Lao Tsu as we discussed the finer points of un-naming the named and what truly is the Universal Tao. After that I would meditate for a few hours and clear my head before writing some of my soon-to-be-released best selling novel. In the afternoon I would wander into a school and play with some kids for a while before clocking off and heading into an opium den to transcend the night away...

In fact, my head couldn't get itself around what it meant to be a teacher and I ran into a wall of overthought and insomnia. Though I had lots of time to myself, I spent most of it dreading the night's classes and entertaining the many ways in which I could fail in my tired mind. I couldn't find the off-switch, but somewhere in there also lost the on-switch.

What was it he said in Fight Club? With insomnia you're never really asleep and you're never really awake. That's how I felt. If I did get to dream, I dreamt of teaching. It was a head-fuck. And, ultimately, it was just boring.

Fortunately, if there's one thing you can rely on, it's change. And in time, things changed a great deal...

ReBoot

Hello Blog Faithful.

It's been a really long time since I've written anything here on my blog. So long that my delightful little 'ox-tale' pun has expired and we're now in the year of the Tiger.

Why so long?

I guess the idealised imagined version of what life would be like here in Taiwan was never met. The vision of loads of spare time to focus on my projects with an easy job paying me lots of cash... well, like the great poet Chuck D once said, 'Shit ain't like that...'

Now, on a Saturday night in my wooden cottage in the hills outside of Fong Yuan, I'm in a reflective mood. So it seems the time has come to jot down a couple of stories once again. If you're with me, enjoy.

The Turntables May Wobble...

Stumbling is characteristic of most first steps. Even the first men on Studio Moon stumbled on the early takes before perfecting it for the live satellite telecast. But like Rocky says, it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you get hit and keep moving forward. To Sly, the first steps always involved mumbling, but he got back up, dusted off his syllables and continued to make sequels against all odds.

They say that if you sit on the fence for too long you’ve gotta expect the odd picket up your arse. Who knows who ‘they’ are that say such things. I picture a room full of middle aged men just saying things all day and night. It’s a bit like the age old question, ‘where is the internet?’ I knew a man who answered that once, telling me it was a building with countless black boxes in it.

If this blog entry was ever moving forward, I digress. But it’s not about how many points you make, it’s about how much you can digress and keep people reading.

Over the past few weeks I have set up camp on the fence. I have been pondering 2 options: Stay Here vs Go to Sydney to continue my studies. It was getting to the point where I thought I might need to dial the emergency number and get the Ambivalence Ambulance to come to my apartment.

In my hour of need I was reminded of an article I once read from Nathan Buckley – Australian Football Collingwood Legend. He talked about a hard decision he’d made (perhaps to leave the Bears) and how he had talked it through with his Dad. Now why didn’t I ever do that?

So I called my father. And it was beautiful.

Harry managed to look at where I was at, and give it back to me with at-times-brutal and at-times-touching honesty. And when I got off the phone it was clear to me that just because things have been a little rough, there’s no need to pull the rip cord. Everything is where it needs to be.

To those out there who have trouble navigating the waters on the father-son relationShip, I would suggest giving the guy the chance to be your dad from time to time. He probably knows you better than you can imagine.

Monkey Quote: Episode 9

"The strange fact is that the world goes on against all reasonable odds. A hundred years, and even unimaginable evil is just called history."

Japanese vs Taiwanese Noodles

On my first weekend here in Fong Yuan, which was only 2 weekends ago, none other than the great man himself - Richard 'Noodles' Hall - graced these streets with his presence on a visa run from Japan. I greeted him at the train station with 2 chocmilks and 2 seaweed rice triangles in my hands and we headed directly for the night markets.

Although we didn't pass go, we collected $200(New Taiwanese Dollars that is - think $6) worth of whatever the street vendors would dish us up and rounded the night out by shooting some baskets in the arcade.

The next day, a Sunday, was the best of my time here in Taiwan so far. It was performed in chapters... To the best of my memory this was the order of events...

Chapter One - Fairy Toast
When I awoke Big Daddy Noodles had already been up and raring to go for about 3 hours. We wandered down to the breakfast place in my apartment block and Noods was introduced to the lovely Amy, the breakfast lady, by my future CIA housemate, Hans. We ate something that could best be described as 'fairy toast' and headed for the hills.

Chapter Two - Ol' Browner II
On the way we happened upon a bowling alley and decided to roll a few frames. It was just like the old days at Rosemount when you could enjoy $1.50 games. I even found a bowling ball that resembled Ol' Browner - my faithful bowling ball that was damaged beyond repair by the great Sec Fire of 2001.

Chapter Three - Some Beef with Noodles
By taking 3 wrong turns, Noods and I found our way to a little family-run lunch place that served ridiculously good beef noodles and laughed raucously as we put horns on our heads and gave the 'moooooo' in lieu of knowing some kind of 'chinese words'. Delicious!

Chapter Four - Much Needed Perspective
We headed up past a winding street market, through a park and up into the hills. From the top, with sweat on our brows, we could see the whole little town that I now call home. It was some much needed perspective, offered in the most literal way.

Chapter Five - Pants
We made our way down the hill the long way and used a shapeshifting building as our guide to get back home in the fading light. On the outskirts of town we stumbled upon a shop where some all-class shopping was performed. I became the proud owner of some new pants that rival the 'classic series' that Jussy found for me in Paris.

Chapter Six - Terror on Chow Street
We ate all that we could and wasted terrifying amounts of food.

Chapter Seven - Golden Microphones
After looping the town and arriving back where we started, the guys that sold us pants took pity on us and decided to take us on their scooters to Karaoke. Here, Noodles and I went song for song for 3 hours in a room with a plasma screen, a projector and countless couches all to ourselves. Avril Levine and Elvis Prestley found their way onto our playlists as instant money. Not to mention (which is such a crazy expression as obviously it's about to be mentioned) there was all you can eat hotdog pastry things. It's an odd concept - use your imagination, or if that's a little lacking, get some weiners and donuts and combine...

And that's the end of our story about one of the world's greatest days.

Noodles' stay was only really 3 days. It was sad to see the big man go, but it makes me wonder where on earth the next great adventure of us will be.

Choice

Ever since seeing Kung Fu Panda I’ve pondered the concept of destiny finding you on the path you take to avoid it… How so much of my time and resources are spent on decisions – worrying if I am making the right ones – regretting decisions I’ve made and the doors that have been closed on me – watching life move on and mistakes become cemented.

But is any of it real?

After I finished my 10-day intensive training course in Taipei I came down to a little town called Fong Yuan to live. It’s about 15 minutes from the 3rd largest city in Taiwan – Taichung. It’s surrounded by mountains and there are several walks you can take just out of the city that make you feel like you’re way out in the countryside. The city itself has everything you could want – including 10-pin bowling, an abundance of karaoke, a 35 meter pool with sauna, steam room and spa, badminton courts… you know, the essentials.

Last Sunday I took a drive through the mountains for a few hours and found myself in an incredible hot springs where I soaked myself for an afternoon/evening and blissed out.

And yet, I’ve been in a tailspin of almost-made-decisions. I’ve been looking for something else, anything to get me free of this place. Something easier, safer and more familiar. A job that I am good at, not one that I have to learn. I have talked to so many friends and family members and every time I hang up the phone I have made a new decision. Then slowly that decision begins to erode and I am back to the land of indecisive clouds.

A few days ago I got an email from my ex-wife – a picture of her new-born baby girl… decisions.

The big impersonal force out there that some call god doesn’t seem to care about why we make the decisions we make. It just receives the orders and carries them out – regardless of reason.

And perhaps, the best way to live is to let destiny be, and get on with the journey - one pretend decision at a time.